Silly rabbit, glitter is for kids

Who in the world made the grand decision to bedazzle women’s footwear? Everywhere I look, I see high heels covered in pounds of glitter. Yes, I know this trend has been around since last year, but deep down I was hoping everyone would ignore it and thus force all glittered footwear to crawl into a hole and die. 

But someone has been feeding into this trend and now it's bigger than ever before.

All that glitters is not gold, people.

The only reason why I abhor sparkly shoes is because the consumer versions look so cheap and childish. Whenever I see a pair, I just can't escape the image of two little girls playing in sparkly fairy dust for a Tinkerbell-inspired birthday party. And to charge anything more than $5 for a shoe that was likely dipped in glue and glitter found at the local crafts store is just insulting. 

When I saw this Kate Spade Charm slingback pump, I immediately thought WWPHW - What Would Paris Hilton Wear? And that's not a good thing. To charge $325 for these pumps is absolutely unforgivable.

On the other hand, Miu Miu tackled this trend effortlessly on the runways and led the way for appropriate glitter execution. The strategic fabric placement,  brilliant curved heel and the fineness of the glitter created a beautiful bootie that I'd actually pay for if I could. But for $890, that likely won't be happening.

So unless I change my name to Ke$ha or someone gifts me a pair of Miu Miu kicks, I think I'll be leaving the glitter for the kids. 

Another date, another wasted outfit

He was the type of guy who liked to wear shades indoors at night. Despite being 32 years old, he saw nothing wrong with wearing jeans baggy enough to fit a small puppy in. And for some abominable reason, my dearest friend Denise thought this guy and I would make a great match.

On paper, he was a good fit. He was ambitious, self-made, ran a promotion company and worked with tons of celebrities. I, being a fashion writer, had worked with my fair share of celebs, too. I imagined that we would be a fantastic power couple. He could be the one - or at least the one who’s fun to look at until the right one shows up.

I was so excited by that prospect that I made a trip to the mall and tried on 1,000 figure-hugging French Connection dresses before settling on one that even Beyonce would be proud of. 

When I made my entrance at the lounge, I eagerly scanned the room for the man that looked great on paper. But I was saddened to be approached by a dude wearing a pair of unnecessary sunglasses, baggy jeans and an oversized white tee shirt.

Really, you’re offending my French Connection with a Hanes His Way tee?

“Sorry I’m late, ma.  I was chilling with Weezy in Miami last night, and it was ridiculous,” Mr. White Tee said all too loudly. “We were popping bottles all night, so I’m still recovering, you know what I’m saying?“

No, I have no Godly idea of what you’re saying! Who are you? What was Denise thinking? And why in this friggin’ world are you wearing a white tee on a date??

I should have ran away then, but I remained glued to my seat at the bar, listening to him ramble about his adventures of hustling and balling.  I simply nodded. I couldn’t speak really. My sexy bandage dress was slowly severing off my circulation and making it impossible to exhale. That’s what I get for squeezing my happy hips into a size 8 dress just because I found it on the clearance rack.

He took a swig of his Brandy. I chugged the remainder of my Patron XO. 

“So what did you have in mind to do tonight,” I finally asked, after he finished his second soliloquy about partying with Diddy.

He leaned toward me and whispered, “I figured we’d go back to my place. . .You know what I’m saying?”

It’s official. Somewhere in my youth or childhood, I must have done something terribly, terribly wrong. I stood up and tossed some cash next to my drink and left.  I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

Hopefully, nobody saw me tonight, because I could wear this outfit again for a more worthy occasion. No use in wasting a perfectly good outfit . . . you know what I’m saying?

2011: The Year of J. Lo

It's official - 2011 is officially the year of Jennifer Lopez. 

Despite the pending divorce from her husband Marc Anthony,  the actress and er. . . um . . singer,  continues to build her empire by expanding her fashion brand into home goods.  

The American Idol judge partnered with Kohl's to offer the Jennifer Lopez Collection and the Jennifer Lopez Home Collection, the latter of which will offer towels, luggage and bed linens.   

So what can you expect to see? 

In the clothing line, think winter shorts, 70's inspired pants and faux fur vests. And in the home collection,  shades of winter white, midnight blues and tons of sheen will reign supreme. 

J. Lo shares the inspiration behind her new Kohl's lines below.

So what do you think? Will you be buying anything from the new Jennifer Lopez Collection or Home Collection?

The Obamas, Janelle Monae and more listed in Vanity Fair's Best Dressed spread

The Dutchess of Cambridge Kate Middleton led off Vanity Fair's 72nd annual International Best Dressed List this month.

The list was pretty predictable and included Pres. Barack and Michelle Obama, filmmaker Tilda Swinton, and Justin Timberlake, among many others.

Our adorable, tuxedo-clad singer Janelle Monáe, known for wearing the same, albeit chic, uniform  . . . every .  . .single. . . day, made the cut, too. 

Shala Monroque, a fashion consultant and creative director of Garage Jain magazine, also hit the list. And just to note - this fuchsia and Yves Klein blue color combo is setting my world on fire!

Check out the full Best Dressed Listing at Vanity Fair.

Hiya!

So I'm taking a crack at fashion blogging. . . finally!

It's funny that it's taken this long to do a blog, considering I write about fashion so much for my job.  . . But anyway, I plan to write about my observations of the fashion world and, of course, the real world.  

I'm sure the blog will develop more over time, but until then, check back in and let me know what you think! 

Tootles! :)